I’m back from a wonderful holiday… in 12 days we visited my sister and family in L.A., and went to San Diego where we visited the Wild Animal Park, Zoo, and SeaWorld (twice). We also went to Disney/California Adventure for 3 days. My kids had a fantastic time, and I found more joy in their enjoyment than my own.
A few days ago I got a flu that went to my sinuses. Yesterday during the flight from L.A. to Seattle I realized that my flu was an infection and the flight home was nothing less than painful! I must thank my wife for doing most of the driving from Seattle to Coquitlam for I was agonizingly useless. Today, I am on antibiotics, Sinutab, a nasal salt water wash, and as of 20 minutes ago, a home remedy ‘tonic’ of a much stronger nature… I received a concussion in a water polo game 25 years ago when my nose was broken by an elbow and I think the pain I feel right now is worse… yet I just looked in the mirror in my washroom and I look no worse for wear than I normally do.
So why am I telling you this?
I wonder how many students come to us with hidden pain… not a sinus infection but pain none-the-less. How many students hide their broken homes, their emotional or physical abuse? How many students feel like they don’t fit in, that they don’t belong? How many students have moments where they want to die or wish they were already dead?
I’ve had students in my class that have dealt with issues I could never imagine. I remember my VP Gary Kern saying to me once, “This job has taught me a new respect for the student I’d never want to be…”, the student whose life experiences make them students of life long before we reach that point.
This is what makes a teacher’s job so tough, we don’t teach ‘students’ we teach human beings with real-life issues. We ‘see’ a lot, but we miss a lot too!
How many times have you had a parent interview after which you suddenly change your strategy about how you deal with a student? How many times have you made an on-the-spot decision that you believed was great, only to discover later that you should have handled it differently, that you didn’t have enough information to do what was best for the student?
Sometimes it takes feeling a hidden pain to appreciate that others feel pain too.
I’m sure every teacher reading this could share a story like no other. I’m sure every teacher reading this understands exactly what I’m talking about. As I sit here in agony, I salute the teachers of this world who do so much more than teach students the content they are required to teach!
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go crawl under a rock until I feel better.
so sorry to hear that your wonderful vacation ended on such a down note. hope you get better asap and that those antibiotics kick in fast!
you make an excellent point about “hidden pain” –it’s a topic that often gets left out of our discussions, especially among ed tech circles.
i think we get so caught up in the wonders of education 2.0, that we sometimes forget that it’s not about technology (or math, or history, etc), it’s about people.
thanks again for the reminder. now stop blogging and twittering and get some sleep!
cheers!
Kia ora David!
Welcome to the living! Isn’t it wonderful that you have the opportunity to get a taste of how the world works? As a teacher, there is no finer sensitiser to the needs of the learner. I find this is one of the most fundamental issues of the ‘classroom’.
I have a wonderful family. My children are all loveable. Every time I think about their lot in life, I thank chance that they are safe in New Zealand, healthy, ‘normal’ in mind and all have a home to return to each day that gives them comfort, food, care, affection and support for all their prittle-prattling complaints – there aren’t many.
I too am confronted with tragedy, dejection, poverty, violence and death when I tend to my students. I too have made mistakes when giving advice or instruction.
I am not religious, but I understand that we are nevertheless mortal and can only do what we can, being what we are. How many times have we light-heartedly attempted and failed in a board-game or other pastime. What makes it (LIFE) so different when we make important decisions?
Often the same processes are involved when we are asked to make important life-determining decisions. Are our minds more capable of making the right decision under life-stress than in a light-hearted situation? I wonder.
I, in my dotage, often reflect on the momentous decisions that I’ve made that shaped my life. Some of them have been disastrous, some of them have been enriching, some of them have been stupid and some have been insight.
But you can only do what you can, being what you are.
My Grandmother had a rhyme she used to recite to me. I loved my Grandmother. I have this same rhyme pinned to the wall in our home, for it says it all:
“Do what you can, being what you are, shine like a glow-worm if you can’t be a star.”
I hope your sinus infection is whacked by the antibots!
Ka kite
from Middle-earth
Even when you are under the weather you make us all reflect on what teaching is all about. I’m starting to believe you’ll never stop, which makes you a rare kind of teacher.
Take good care of yourself.
Hi Dave,
So sorry that you are still under the weather. Perhaps today you are feeling better and looking forward to more downtime before school begins. When I saw the title of the blogpost on Twitter I didn’t guess to the contents. I was touched by the topic and agree on its importance. Our greatest ‘tool’ as teachers is our ability to connect with our kids as individuals. Knowing their hidden pain is essential if we are to help them grow.
Sometimes we do the right thing by instinct, other times not knowing their stories causes us to make errors in our reactions or assessments. Having compassion throughout can turn these errors into triumphs – working through the pain to awareness is key.
Thanks for the reminder as the year begins.
Hi there,
I stumbled across your blog whilst trying to eascape another blog….I was about to x you out due to all the whiney stuff about infections and anti biotics and how you were suffering….when I actually reached the point of your blog.
I am a teacher in England, in a school which serves a particulary deprived area. Your comments brought back so many of the things that I have witnessed my children experience this year. The thing which kills me is how helpless teachers are ultimately.
You know there is something wrong but you can’t do a thing except be there if the child decides to ask for help, or if something happens. Your post made think about things I thought I had forgotten, they came tumbling back into my mind, funny how a summer vacation lets you switch off from it all.
I remember some of the great kids I have taught, but I remember all the kids that suffered when in my class. Sometimes they come back and despite it all have made a good life…. and for the others I still wonder 10 20 years later how they are…..is it the knowledge of their pain that I can’t forget or the knowledge that I could not help them?
during an unthinking summer you made me think…I wish you well =)
Silvana
I want to thank you all for your wonderful comments!
I’m feeling better now, and apologetic about starting the post off so whiny. Thanks for seeing beyond this and really getting to the heart of what I was trying to say.
I both value and appreciate your contributions!
Hi Dave,
Like others – I’m sorry to hear you’re not feeling well but thanks for sharing your thoughts!
I think that we all have opportunities to “be there” for the children in our lives – whether that’s our own, our students, our friends, etc…
I don’t mean that kids will just open up about all the stuff going on in their lives just because we decide to ask.
I DO mean that we can stop our own internal chatter, be present, and LISTEN. Ask questions. Simply care about them without judgement. Respect them, ask for their opinion, listen to their answers. Validate. See beyond their circumstances or their pain – and mirror what you see, particularly anything that can help them recognize their own gifts (because we all have gifts!!).
I believe that one person can make a difference in another’s life – just by connecting…
@MrsCunningham – that’s my long way of saying “You think you couldn’t help them – but I think you did because you cared, you thought about them, it mattered to you! I think you touched lives without even knowing it!”
In fact, I think all teachers have this kind of impact – http://www.thinkingschools.ca/2008/06/06/appreciation/
Thank you for thinking & for caring!